Things About Dance
I. I'm the dancer
Moving to the beat
I love the sound of music
Coming through my feet
II. I cannot dance
I do not know why
I have two left feet
But I always try
III. I am the reflection
Mirroring every move
I can't mess up
Because I'm not a fool
IV. I am the speakers
Banging to th bass
Turn me upas loud as you want
So I can blow the roof off this place
V. I am the song
Let my voice flow
Dance to my music
Just don't break a toe
VI. I am the floor boards
Stop stomping on me
You ca hear me squeak
When you dance on me
VII. I am the dance instructor
I teach the art of dance
I hope no one's watching'cuz
I just peed in my pants
VIII. I am the student
I just love to dance
Did you just see that
He just peed in his pants
IX. I am the railing
They have a gentle touch
I wish that I can dance
But I can't move that much
X. I am the professional
I do this to get paid
It gets so hot & heavy
Fear and Death
Death is like a tornado, destruction follows
Like your heart has been ripped out and your chest all hollow
Fear is like a shadow that's cold and dark
3 comments:
1. My first impression of the piece was the humor.
2. "IX. I am the railing
They have a gentle touch
I wish that I can dance
But I can't move that much"
3. "VI. I am the floor boards
Stop stomping on me
You ca hear me squeak
When you dance on me"
Maybe you could pick another word that rhymes with "me" rather than using the word twice. I also noticed that some of the segments rhyme while others don't and maybe you could unify them.
1. My first impression of this piece was a depressing tone.
2. "If we stand together there ain't nothing holding us back"
3. "This ain't a laughing matter so please don't laugh"
Try using a word other than laugh twice.
4. The first poem appeals to me the most because of the light hearted humor. Even though I can't relate, I can laugh.
1) the jokes really stood out to me
2)"IV. I am the speakers
Banging to th bass
Turn me upas loud as you want
So I can blow the roof off this place"
3)"V. I am the song
Let my voice flow
Dance to my music
Just don't break a toe"
i think this stanza is really very good!! but the last line in it is a little out of place, and changes the strong tone of the phrase.
1)it stars out in a low, sullen mood, but by the end, it lifts you up and its inspiring!
2)"Blacks fear whites and whites fear blacks
If we stand together there ain't nothing holding us back"
so cool Antonio...
3)"This ain't a laughing matter so please don't laugh" this line is a little redundant, i don't think its really necessary.
4) I like the second one! it is rally strong, and it inspires me to live my life and stand up for what i believe in while i still can
this is a bomb poem
i likes it....
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